Ken Hills

My uncle, Ken Hills, is launching a book tonight.
His usual fare is reminiscences and books for children.

Tonight's book 'Requiem for Black Shoes' is a different treatment altogether.
It's about sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, and about his personal experience with this. Although he has fictionalized some of the account, I have read the book and seen many truisms from his life.

He is a man of unbelieveable faith and a belief that his accounting of this trauma will be healing for himself, and the beginning of such a journey for others. His grounding in Catholicism despite all this is phenomenal.

The older I get, the more I realize how EVERYBODY's got to work their demons out. Some are more severe, some are devastating as Ken's were. The act of working through issues brings not only a relief to some of the anxiety and stress, but opens one up to better communication with others.

I have gone through therapy several times, to try to rationalize the relationship with my parents- my violent father, my angry and sometimes cruel mother. And for the murder of one of my brothers. Everyone in my family has issues from our collective childhoods, and some have dealt with it better than others. My brother's death continues to affect me, but was exacerbated by a lack of resolution with another sibling, who continues to estrange themself. We all move on, but sometimes we have an anchor that drags behind us like a giant concrete block we can sometimes wedge but never remove.

I hope for Ken that the public disclosure brings him some empathy and some chance to thoroughly expunge the weight of this. When I grew up I saw in Ken an exemplary father and husband. I was so envious that he and Louise were so attentive to their kids, driving them to sports constantly, being there for them at school functions. My parents watched my brother lug his own hockey bag to the arena for many years. My father was extremely violent to him in particular. Then my mother watched as my brother coursed downward into addiction as he tried to find value in himself.

It was amazing to see the difference in our families. I am blessed by having a good relationship with Ken's kids, they have helped me through so many things, and given me a real sense of family when my own failed me. My aunt's supportiveness of him and her children is amazing, it really begets incredible support into the next generation. My cousins are great with their kids, and they have their parents to thank.

I hope Ken's launch, and book, goes well. And I hope it helps heal the demons, as he is so hopeful for as well.